For our kids' birthdays, we have a healthy dose of their "special day", while still keeping things real. Yes, we've done the parties, roller skating, renting a gym, etc. Once they turn 10, we scale it back. For one, parties are expensive! By the time you rent a place out, buy a cake, cups, snacks, food, etc. you are talking a big chunk of change. There's hardly any money left to buy a gift or two. Also, the option of having these big parties at our house, is out. Do you realize how much room 10 -12yr old's take up? Our house won't fit that measurement. Outside parties are fun, but Jay is the only one who can take advantage of that. The other kids are winter/early spring, so the weather is, at best, a crapshoot. There's always a cake or dessert, gifts and the effort to make them feel it's their day. We try to make sure the kids feel they are getting some special attention on their birthdays, whether it's a small group for an overnight, or going out to eat.....it's a day for them.
For Eric and I, we have never done anything big. Let me take that back, Eric did get a surprise birthday party for his 30th. He ruined it for himself, by being so freaking attentive to details. After weeks of secret phone calls to his friends, the hiding of plates, cups, food and drink in the garage, and the clandestine plan for how to get him out of the house, he notices a familiar car, parked along the street.....3 minutes before he gets to the house and hears, "SURPRISE!" He also got a larger party last year, when we combined his 40th with Vivan's 1st. We may exchange a little gift, maybe breakfast in bed. Sometimes there's a handwritten card, or "coupons". Even if there's no cake, there' some desired dessert and/or a special-made meal of their faves. Whatever the acknowledgement, there's always something that signifies a special day for the birthday mom/dad. This year, do you know what Eric got? Nothing. Nada. Zero. He woke up, yesterday, got dressed, had coffee, discussed the day's events and went to buy tags for the vehicles. All that, and not one of us said , "Happy Birthday." I didn't even realize it, until he was gone. I called him, to admit my shame over not acknowledging him. He assured me it was ok. He wasn't upset. I was. How could I not even say the words?? It wasn't until we were getting ready for bed, that I realized, I didn't even get him a cake!! No card?? No special meal! He spent his day, transferring an RV title at the DMV, for pete's sake! He didn't even get an Oreo cookie, since we had 3 extra kids here and those suckers were gone within the first hour. The only rectifying part of the day, was that Eric was genuinely happy about a slow, relaxing day. Given that we are in the beginnings of travel baseball, we will have FEW, if any, slow and relaxing weekends from now until.....well.....November, to be honest. (Baseball runs into football) It's not that I forgot about his birthday. His co-workers/friends had a little get-together on Thursday, so I was well aware of it. I guess the week just snuck up on me. This is really unacceptable. Sure, as adults, we don't do big things, but to have a day for you, and your family does NOTHING, is not cool.
1 comment:
My out of the blue message:
I always look forward to your blog posts even if I don't comment on them. You're hilarious and I love the family updates.
Keep it up and I'll try to do better at commenting. :)
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