Tuesday, May 4, 2010

In Defense of Wanting What the Jones's Have





If you have never wanted what someone else has....you're a liar. It's part of our make-up, like flinching or contagious laugh. Sometimes you just can't help yourself. You read about how wrong it is to try to "keep up with the Jones's". I agree. Putting yourself into deep debt in an attempt to impress your neighbor with a new boat when you have no real desire to put it to much use, is wrong. However, is it wrong to want more for your children?


Recently, while attending my son's overnight field trip/camping outing, I felt that urge, the urge to play the lottery so that I had more money to buy a 5th wheel camper for my kids. My kids love to be outside fishing, hiking, exploring and on most days, our own backyard is just fine for that. However, Jay asked me if we could go camping this summer. Well, sure we could. (completely aside from the fact we have no empty weekends from baseball) We could pitch a tent and crap in the woods. That's all we have pertaining to camping, a tent and a couple rolls of toilet paper. Put that with some lawn chairs and campfire pokers, and we are off to the campgrounds.......I'm not a huge fan of roughing it on that level. Would it be a lot more fun to head to those campgrounds with a nice camper that sleeps 10? Absolutely. Do we have that kind of money? Absolutely not.


Of course these feelings of want are just magnified when a certain neighbor comments on their camper that sleeps 12. Or mentions, four times, the 20 acres of land to ride the quads, or the football field they are building on said 20 acres. It's not just a desire to invite friends to share in the fun of what they have, but more of a see-what-I-have-isn't-it-great superiority. Fine. Whatever. You have a lot of money and your kids are lucky to have you as parents, because of course, that means you love them more than we love our kids.


Why can't I give my kids an awesome summer of camping? Never mind that we are taking two awesome vacations this year to spend time with our families. Never mind that we have a roof over our heads and Eric still has a job in this economy. Never mind that even though money is tight, I am able to stay home with my kids to build memories I hope they will cherish. I want what my my neighbor has. It's a burden I bear with less and less guilt. It's ok to want what others have -it's human nature. But, when it overtakes your better judgement and pushes you to go after what others have, when you don't have the means, you may need a reality check. I've had to check that reality many times over. When it is all said and done, our family is having fun and building memories no matter how or when we go camping. We have a blast at the Cowboy Mounted Shooting weekends. We enjoy spending time watching baseball games (not for 14 1/2 hours in 40 degree weather, but that's another story for a later date). We cherish nights around the fire, roasting marshmallows, laughing at the dogs and still being able to sleep in our own beds that night. We love our kids and want the best for them. Is the "best" being able to buy a camper or put in a private football field? Perhaps. But for now, we'll be slumming it in our rolling turd (a rusty horse trailer) and backyard fire pit. I hope they will not be traumatized for life.

3 comments:

tfdchief said...

I liked that, very well done. Oh, and happy Mother's Day!

EE said...

When most of us look back at our childhoods, we remember the fun we DID have, not what the neighbors did. You and Eric are AWESOME parents!. Your kids are a joy to be around. Enjoy them.

annieg said...

I would rather camp in my backyard and go in the house and crap in the toilet! Ha! I would camp anywhere with you Schreiber. xoxo Your kids are so lucky, in fact, I am jealous of them. How I wish I had a mother like you!